Zero Percent Dick
by AkwardBabyGiraffe
Summary: Five times Peter risked his life to save his friends and one time he gave it.
1. Floating in Space

**I freaking love this movie!**

Peter's heart clenched as Gamora's pod exploded. His cry of protest was cut off by the lump in his throat. He can barely breathe as he watched the assassin he had slowly grown to care about float among the debris of the mine pod. He barely hears Rocket speaking to him. He knows that what the thug says is true, there's no way she would survive out there. If he had been in this situation a week ago, Peter probably would have left her. But now, something was holding him back. He didn't hesitate as he contacted Yondu, telling him to come and get him. He didn't hesitate when he activated his helmet and left his own pod. He ignored Rocket's shout of warning. He couldn't leave her. He couldn't let her die.

He floated over to her, gently taking her in his arms. Taking one last breath, Peter deactivated his helmet. Taking out his earpiece, he put it in Gamora's ear and turned it on. The helmet formed around her face, giving her air; giving her life. The next few moments became a blur. He didn't remember feeling pain, just cold. Very, very cold. But he didn't care about the cold or the fact that he was slowly dying. All he cared about was that, for now, Gamora was alive. The next thing he knew, they were both on Yondu's ship. The cold was gone and they were both alive. He stared at the assassin and smiled in relief. Then Yondu and his crew came and the space pirate's red arrow was pressed against Peter's throat. He knew that they were most likely going to kill him but oddly, he didn't care. Gamora was alive and that's all that mattered to him. His friend was alive.

**Sorry this first part is so short, the next ones will be a lot longer. Please review, follow and favorite!**


	2. Burns

It was official. Peter did NOT like flame throwers. Fire hurts like a bitch and nobody should have a machine that can throw that shit. The throwers in question were being wielded by a couple of fugitives that the Nova Corps had them hunting. These two pricks had committed just about every crime in the book, aside from rape and murder, but by the way they were fighting, it looked like they might be reaching for the last one. The Guardians had the two perps corned in a shady bar. No one had thought to tell them that they had fricking flame throwers built into their skeletal system. Who the hell does that? Streams of fire flew from the cuffs around their hands, reaching out at the terrified people in the bar. Drax and Groot were trying their best to get everyone out safely but were having a hard time dodging the flames. So Peter decided to do what he did best. Distract the bad guys.

"I'm gonna try and draw the fire away from Groot and Drax." he told Gamora who was crouched down next to him behind an overturned table. She gave him a worried look as he popped up the collar of his red jacket.

"You are not going to challenge them to a dance off, are you?" she asked, gripping her knife tightly. Peter rolled his eyes and taped his earpiece, activating his helmet.

"That was one time." he grumbled, standing and running into the fight. Raising his own weapons, the Starlord shouted, "Hey, idjits!"

The two men turned to face him, halting their fiery attack for a moment, giving Drax and Groot enough time to get most of the patrons out of the now burning building. Peter continued taunting the arsonists, trying to buy his friends more time. From the corners of his eyes, he could see Gamora and Rocket sneaking around either side of him, trying to get behind the fugitives. "Why don't you try toasting this?"

Peter began firing round after round, managing to know one of them off their feet and over the bar. His comrade, however continued to rain fire on the human. Peter jumped over chairs and tables, before crouching behind tipped over table. A sudden cry of pain made Peter risk a glance over his makeshift shield. Gamora now had the fugitive that he had shot slammed up against the wall as she bound his arms behind his back. His partner turned away from the human. Rocket took that opportunity to make his move, sneaking up behind the last flame thrower with a gun nearly twice his size.

"Behind you." the perp that Gamora had shouted to his partner. Rocket barely had enough time to jump out of the way before the spot he was standing on was scorched. He rolled a few feet, his gun getting tossed from his tiny hands in the process. Everything seemed to slow down for Peter. He saw the fugitive aiming his fiery hands at the raccoon, who was on his hands and knees, trying to pick himself up, and he did the first ting he could think of. He ran.

With almost inhuman speed, he ran to his fallen friend and shielded him from the fire with his body. Peter screamed out as he felt the pain of the heat. God it burned. _Well, no shit Sherlock. _he thought to himself. _Its fire searing your flesh, its gonna burn._

Suddenly the fire was gone, but he could still fell the heat. Peter clenched his eyes shut and bit his lip as he fell forward, passing out from the pain. Rocket scrambled away to avoid being landed on.

"Oh shit, Quill! You're on fire!" the mammal cried out. Drax stormed over to his fallen friend, and slapped his large hands against his back, trying to extinguish the flames that clung to the man's jacket.

"Get out of the way!" Gamora ordered, running to join them, a pitcher of water clenched in her hands. She threw it over the flames, putting them out with sizzles and hissing. The Starlord's trademark red coat was charred and burnt but seemed to have taken most of the damage. The green assassin dropped to her knees and turned the unconscious man over. She tapped his earpiece so his red eyed helmet dissolved away. His face was flushed from the heat but he looked otherwise unharmed. His blue eyes fluttered. He took a lazy look at his friends and gave them a weak smile. "Hey guys."

All of his friends, who had surrounded him, sighed with relief. Except for Rocket who was fuming. "You idiot! You could've died! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I didn't want a barbequed raccoon for a friend." Peter chuckled weakly as Drax help him to his feet. He looked over and saw booth of the fugitives unconscious on the floor, one of them with Gamora's knife sticking out of his left butt cheek. He raised his eyebrows, deciding that he would wait 'till later to ask her about that. Rocket let out a ragged, frustrated sigh and pulled at the fur on his face. He turned away, muttering something under his breath. Peter smirked, "What was that?"

"I said thanks for saving my life, a-hole!" the thug shouted stormed out of the bar. Peter smiled.

"I think that's the nicest thing he's ever said to me." he chuckled, taking a woozy step forward. Drax was there to steady him, pulling one of his arms across his shoulders.

"I will escort you back to the ship, Quill." the large man said with his deep voice. Peter winced in pain with every movement.

"Could also escort me to the nearest painkillers?" he mumbled. Apparently, Rocket heard him.

"That's what you get for jumping in front of a flame thrower, dumbass!" Rocket shouted from outside. Peter smiled to himself, knowing that Rocket was secretly thanking him in his weird foul mouth way. He didn't mind, he was just glad his friend was alive.

**Hope you liked it! Don't forget to review, favorite and follow!**


	3. Buried

Buried:

Pay day was Peter's favorite day. There was just something so jovial about it. The 800,000 units they were about to get paid for the two flame throwing fugitives would definitely make up for the burns on his back. Nothing could ruin the pleasure Peter got from getting paid. Well I guess a bomb could, cause it did. Peter really hated bombs; almost as much as he hated flame throwers. He couldn't even begin to tell you how many times Rocket had almost blown up his ship while making the suckers. But for once, this explosion was not Rocket's fault.

The Guardians were seated at a round table with Nova Prime and the newly promoted, Denarian Dey joining them. The white haired woman smiled, "Congratulations on another job well done. I trust the mission went smoothly?"

The misfit team gave each other weird glances before Peter slowly answered, "More or less."

Nova Prime had a confused look on her face as she asked, "I hate to ask, but when we processed the two fugitives, we noticed that one of them had an-. How do I say this? An interesting wound on an interesting part of his body. Would you please tell me exactly what happened?"

Peter looked at Gamora, flustered. She met him with a cold gaze, daring him to say anything. Wanting to keep his genitals attached to his body, Peter looked down and mumbled, "I don't know what happened. I was on fire half of the time."

"Really? None of you know how one of the fugitives ended up with a knife in his butt?" Dey asked looking at them skeptically. They all avoided eye contact. He rolled his eyes and sighed, "Okay, which one of you stabbed the guy in the ass?"

"Gamora did it!" Rocket blurted, immediately covering his mouth in regret.

"Rocket!" the green assassin hissed as Peter shouted, "Dude!"

Dey sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Why did you stab him in the ass?"

"He had set Quill on fire!" Drax said, sticking up for his friend.

"He kinda deserved a knife in the ass." Rocket grumbled in agreement.

"I am Groot." their tree friend inputted. The two Nova Corps officials stared at Groot in confusion.

"Excuse me?" Nova Prime asked. Peter sighed. He and the others had begun to understand their tree friend's weird language but others still only heard the same three words when he spoke.

"He says he agrees." he translated.

"Thank you, Groot." Gamora smiled. The two officials sighed in frustration, putting their heads in their hands in defeat.

"The means in which you completed this mission doesn't matter. Congratulations on a job well done." Nova Prime forced through gritted teeth as she rose to her feet. Gesturing to Dey, she continued, "Denarian Dey will-"

Her voice was cut off by a thunderous explosion. The building shook as the walls and foundation cracked. Everyone was thrown off their feet as smoke filled the room. Sounds of screaming and several smaller explosions filled the air. Peter's ears were ringing as he propped himself up on an elbow. Looking at his team, he asked, "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah." They mumbled back. Peter groaned as he rose to his feet.

"What the hell was that?" Rocket shouted from where he was huddled by Groot's feet.

"I do not know but I intend to find out." Drax commented, helping Nova Prime to stand. Gamora rose stoically to her feet, brushing herself off and looking up at the ceiling. She saw the cracks spreading at a fast rate. Dread filled her stomach.

"This building is about to collapse. We have to move." She told them urgently. Before they could even turn towards the exit, the ceiling began to tumble down around them. Peter watched in horror as a large chunk of concrete fell down towards Dey.

"Dey, watch out!" the Terran shouted, running to the man. Peter barely managed to push the man out of the way and away from danger. They all rushed out of the building, dodging pieces of falling concrete as they ran. It wasn't until they made it outside that they realized that they were missing someone. It was Groot who noticed it first.

"I am Groot?" His deep voice asked, filling the others with concern. Their heads twisted back and forth as their eyes searched for the missing Star Lord.

"He pushed me out of the way." Dey mumbled, guilt on his face as he put two and two together. They all stared at the demolished building that was barely standing.

"No." Gamora whispered as panic washed over her like a crushing wave. She started toward the building only to be stopped by Drax's firm grip on her arm.

"Gamora, the building will collapse any second." He tried to reason with her. She glared at the man. She knew that he was right but there was no way she was going to let Peter die.

"I am not leaving him." she spat out, jerking herself free from his grip. She sprinted back toward the building, soon followed by the rest of her comrades.

* * *

Peter woke with a pain in his head and a crushing force on his chest. With a groan, he peeled his eyes open to take in the destruction around him. Smoke and dust filled the air, choking him. Coughs rattled his body as he tried to sit up, only to find that he was pinned under a large slab of stone. It weighed down heavily on his chest, slowly crushing the life out of him.

He was shocked to find that the building was still standing but he guessed that it was only a matter of time before it finally collapsed on him. He hoped that the others had made it out and he hoped that they wouldn't come back for him. It was too dangerous. He was perfectly okay with dying but he would never forgive himself if his friends died along with him, because of him.

He pushed against the slab of rock that held him down in attempt to free himself but it didn't budge. If anything it only weighed down heavier on him, making it harder and harder to breathe. His desperate gasps for breath became strangled as the smoke and dust further smothered him. The world began to fade away as he felt consciousness leaving him. He desperately tried to cling onto reality. He couldnt help but wonder if this was how his mother felt when she died.

"Quill!" shouted a distant voice. Great now he was hearing things, just what he needed. But the voice grew louder. "Peter!"

"Gamora." He whispered to himself, recognizing who it was. They had come back for him. With the little energy he had left, he raised his hand up as far as he could and cried out in a strangled yell, "Help."

"Peter?" Gamora perked, barely hearing him. She spun her head toward the source of the sound and nearly cried with relief when she saw a dirty and bleeding hand raised in the air. "I found him!"

They ran toward their fallen friend. Gamora crouched by his head, stroking the stray locks of his light brown hair out of his face. His barely opened eyes locked onto hers as he whispered, "You came back."

"Of course." Gamora smiled down at him, taking his hand in hers as Drax and Groot worked on lifting the slab of concrete off of him. Her strong grip gave him reassurance and comfort as he drifted off into unconsciousness.

* * *

They had taken Peter to the nearest hospital where he had a speedy recovery. His friends had stayed by his side during his entire stay, making sure he stayed in bed when he tried to sneak off. Dey and his wife and daughter had stopped by to thank him personally. Peter was glad that the Nova official was okay. In a weird way Peter thought of Dey as a friend. A friend who just so happened to have arrested him on several occasions, but a friend never the less. And Peter always protected his friends.


End file.
